"I Was Scared Of Living In Nigeria As A Woman In A Man's Body" - Noni Salmer(Pics)
Nigerian transgender Noni Salma
formerly known as Habeeb babtunde
Lawal has in a new interview with Joy
Isi Bewaji explained how and why he
decided to leave Nigeria to become a
transgender in the United States.. Habeeb was an entertainment
journalist in Lagos before he left the
shores of Nigeria to pursue a degree
in film in New York. There he said he
found a place that was accepting of
who he truly is - a woman. He is now a trans woman, and her
name is Noni Salma.
Enjoy excerpts of the interview. Noni
reveals she has always been attracted
to men because dating women made
her feel like a lesbian. JIB: You are transsexual because
you have done the gender re-
assignment surgery, right? Noni: It’s a personal decision and I
don’t need a surgery to be
transgender. Whatever I decide to do
is personal and an individual choice.
The surgery is not a requirement. Sex
re-assignment is personal. Transgender is an umbrella term that
has nothing to do with surgery. If a
transgender has had surgery, they are
called pre-op trans and after surgery,
they are known as post-op trans.
JIB: How does it feel to be a woman? Noni: I have been a woman all my life.
I was born a woman. It was more of
accepting myself. My gender has never
been in question. I was just scared of
living in Nigeria while being a woman
in a man’s body. I have never been a man. I don’t know what being a man
feels like.
JIB: How did you deal with societal
expectations?
Noni: I was bullied a lot. I was
attacked for being feminine every day. I couldn’t tell my parents. Everything
was exhausting and I became suicidal.
The only way out was to transition. I
kept asking myself why I wasn’t
comfortable in my skin. It took me a
year of therapy to finally convince myself to go through the transition
process. It was scary. I never thought
it would get to a point I would accept
myself.
JIB: What gender are you sexually
attracted to? Noni: I have always been attracted to
men. Dating women made me feel like
a lesbian. A woman could be standing
Unclad in front of me and it would be
like a mannequin. I was at an
awkward stage in my life and didn’t date much.
JIB: You live In New York. Do you have
a lot of support there?
Noni: I have a lot of support here. I live
in the Bronx, and daily I am amazed at
the love people have shown me. I can navigate my world without feeling
trapped. Not every Trans woman is
lucky.
JIB: If you meet a man you are
attracted to… do you tell men you are
trans? Noni: I always say it. I put it out there.
Because it is shocking how holding
back can hurt everyone. People can
get violent at the drop a hat. ‘I love
you’ can turn violent really fast when
they don’t get the full picture of what they are into.
JIB: Who was the first person you told
you were Trans?
Noni: In Nigeria I didn’t tell anyone. I
carried a lot of baggage around. Since
the news got out, I haven’t reached out to my family. I am not prepared to
handle their reaction right now. I
know the whole of Nigeria knows by
now but it’s basically not my concern. I
have enough support here. I go to
therapy and belong to several support groups. I am not responsible for
anybody.
JIB: Are you reacting badly to the
hormonal drugs?
Noni: Not badly, just more emotional. I
cry a lot these days. I cook a lot too. JIB: Did your mum have and inkling
that you were different?
Noni: I think she was in denial. I got
into trouble a lot doing feminine
things and wearing feminine clothes. I
tried to be someone they expected me to be for four years from 25-29 years.
I used to feel disgust for trans women.
But the moment I accepted the trans
woman was the moment I accepted
myself.
JIB: How did your name come about? Noni: I got my name from a movie.
Noni was the name of the character I
liked.
JIB: How does it make you feel when
you hear that gays and trans are
getting lynched in Nigeria? Noni: At the end of the day, I want to
be surrounded by love. Nigerians
have no love for the LGBT community.
I have no plans returning soon. I can’t
change Nigeria and her laws.
JIB: Any plans to marry and raise kids? Noni: Oh yeah… I have those plans. If it
happens, fine; but if it doesn’t… I am
not going to lose sleep over it.
JIB: What would you say about those
going through gender issues in
Nigeria? Noni: It is going to be hard but it will
get better. Do what you have to do to
survive but do not transition in
Nigeria. There are lots of Trans women
in Nigeria but some just relocate to
other places after a while; or they keep it really quiet so nobody knows. I
believe that things will be better. For
now, I don’t practice any religion. I
just practice love. People who are not
even Christians show me so much
love. JIB: You just premiered your movie.
How did it go? How is life now?
Noni: It went well. It won an award
and got a huge viewing. I am just
eight months into my transition. Life is
good but sometimes when I am alone, I still feel sad, especially about the
years I tried to be someone I wasn’t. I
used to care about what people
thought but I do not anymore. I have
priorities now.
JIB: Are you dating anyone? Noni: I am not dating anyone. Not yet.
JIB: What is your kind of man?
Noni: I cannot stand small minded
people. I want someone who is
“woke”.
JIB: Who is your celebrity crush? Noni: I’ll say Ikechukwu- the Nigerian
rapper and Tom Hardley.
Last words from Noni:
I plan on going into acting and
making more movies. No butt
enhancing surgeries for me! I am not ashamed of my transitioning. My
people should know that I am fine. I
don’t mean to hurt or harm anybody.
I. AM. FINE. And I am truly happy!
My thoughts? Live and let live.
formerly known as Habeeb babtunde
Lawal has in a new interview with Joy
Isi Bewaji explained how and why he
decided to leave Nigeria to become a
transgender in the United States.. Habeeb was an entertainment
journalist in Lagos before he left the
shores of Nigeria to pursue a degree
in film in New York. There he said he
found a place that was accepting of
who he truly is - a woman. He is now a trans woman, and her
name is Noni Salma.
Enjoy excerpts of the interview. Noni
reveals she has always been attracted
to men because dating women made
her feel like a lesbian. JIB: You are transsexual because
you have done the gender re-
assignment surgery, right? Noni: It’s a personal decision and I
don’t need a surgery to be
transgender. Whatever I decide to do
is personal and an individual choice.
The surgery is not a requirement. Sex
re-assignment is personal. Transgender is an umbrella term that
has nothing to do with surgery. If a
transgender has had surgery, they are
called pre-op trans and after surgery,
they are known as post-op trans.
JIB: How does it feel to be a woman? Noni: I have been a woman all my life.
I was born a woman. It was more of
accepting myself. My gender has never
been in question. I was just scared of
living in Nigeria while being a woman
in a man’s body. I have never been a man. I don’t know what being a man
feels like.
JIB: How did you deal with societal
expectations?
Noni: I was bullied a lot. I was
attacked for being feminine every day. I couldn’t tell my parents. Everything
was exhausting and I became suicidal.
The only way out was to transition. I
kept asking myself why I wasn’t
comfortable in my skin. It took me a
year of therapy to finally convince myself to go through the transition
process. It was scary. I never thought
it would get to a point I would accept
myself.
JIB: What gender are you sexually
attracted to? Noni: I have always been attracted to
men. Dating women made me feel like
a lesbian. A woman could be standing
Unclad in front of me and it would be
like a mannequin. I was at an
awkward stage in my life and didn’t date much.
JIB: You live In New York. Do you have
a lot of support there?
Noni: I have a lot of support here. I live
in the Bronx, and daily I am amazed at
the love people have shown me. I can navigate my world without feeling
trapped. Not every Trans woman is
lucky.
JIB: If you meet a man you are
attracted to… do you tell men you are
trans? Noni: I always say it. I put it out there.
Because it is shocking how holding
back can hurt everyone. People can
get violent at the drop a hat. ‘I love
you’ can turn violent really fast when
they don’t get the full picture of what they are into.
JIB: Who was the first person you told
you were Trans?
Noni: In Nigeria I didn’t tell anyone. I
carried a lot of baggage around. Since
the news got out, I haven’t reached out to my family. I am not prepared to
handle their reaction right now. I
know the whole of Nigeria knows by
now but it’s basically not my concern. I
have enough support here. I go to
therapy and belong to several support groups. I am not responsible for
anybody.
JIB: Are you reacting badly to the
hormonal drugs?
Noni: Not badly, just more emotional. I
cry a lot these days. I cook a lot too. JIB: Did your mum have and inkling
that you were different?
Noni: I think she was in denial. I got
into trouble a lot doing feminine
things and wearing feminine clothes. I
tried to be someone they expected me to be for four years from 25-29 years.
I used to feel disgust for trans women.
But the moment I accepted the trans
woman was the moment I accepted
myself.
JIB: How did your name come about? Noni: I got my name from a movie.
Noni was the name of the character I
liked.
JIB: How does it make you feel when
you hear that gays and trans are
getting lynched in Nigeria? Noni: At the end of the day, I want to
be surrounded by love. Nigerians
have no love for the LGBT community.
I have no plans returning soon. I can’t
change Nigeria and her laws.
JIB: Any plans to marry and raise kids? Noni: Oh yeah… I have those plans. If it
happens, fine; but if it doesn’t… I am
not going to lose sleep over it.
JIB: What would you say about those
going through gender issues in
Nigeria? Noni: It is going to be hard but it will
get better. Do what you have to do to
survive but do not transition in
Nigeria. There are lots of Trans women
in Nigeria but some just relocate to
other places after a while; or they keep it really quiet so nobody knows. I
believe that things will be better. For
now, I don’t practice any religion. I
just practice love. People who are not
even Christians show me so much
love. JIB: You just premiered your movie.
How did it go? How is life now?
Noni: It went well. It won an award
and got a huge viewing. I am just
eight months into my transition. Life is
good but sometimes when I am alone, I still feel sad, especially about the
years I tried to be someone I wasn’t. I
used to care about what people
thought but I do not anymore. I have
priorities now.
JIB: Are you dating anyone? Noni: I am not dating anyone. Not yet.
JIB: What is your kind of man?
Noni: I cannot stand small minded
people. I want someone who is
“woke”.
JIB: Who is your celebrity crush? Noni: I’ll say Ikechukwu- the Nigerian
rapper and Tom Hardley.
Last words from Noni:
I plan on going into acting and
making more movies. No butt
enhancing surgeries for me! I am not ashamed of my transitioning. My
people should know that I am fine. I
don’t mean to hurt or harm anybody.
I. AM. FINE. And I am truly happy!
My thoughts? Live and let live.